An Aunt's Reflection...

Early in 2011, I heard six very special words that made my heart smile with pure joy: “You’re going to be an Aunt!” From the very utterance of these words, I began praying for this sweet being. I wanted this child to grow strong and healthy leading up to its delivery. With what happened in the months prior, I began praying specifically that Melissa would be healthy, and that Baby would be healthy.

Then a short time later, three more words made this aunt-to-be so very excited. “It’s a GIRL!” Man, was I tickled pink! From the very first “picture” of this wee one, I was so in love. :)

It might sound weird, but with each passing day, week and month that I saw Melissa’s ‘bump’ getting bigger, I would thank God for answering my prayers. She was growing, she was healthy, and so was Melissa.

Before I knew it, December was upon us, and it was time for Baby Girl to make her arrival. I was so excited. I was nervous. I wanted to see EXACTLY what she looked like. I could not wait to hold her.

When I saw her, she was perfect. She was, in fact, the answer to my every prayer.

Over the last year, I have had the pleasure and sheer joy of watching her grow. Her beautiful blue eyes and sweet, sweet smile melt my heart every time I see her.  With every new picture that gets posted on Facebook, I am just in awe of her. :)

Tuesday was her first Christmas, and what a joyous one it was. Seeing her smile and taking in all the technicolor. Her little laughs and squeals were the best.

I am so excited that this sweet baby has made it to be ONE today. Her life is just getting started, and I know I have years upon years of watching her smile, watching her grow, and hearing her laugh. Aunt JuJu can’t wait!

Happy Birthday, Dear Heart. Today, I am so unbelievably thankful for you! :)

Christmas 2012...

It is hard to believe that another Christmas is in the books. My Christmas with family was such a precious block of time. I got to spend it with my sweet family, which had a new member this year! My precious niece, Anne Charlotte, is just days away from turning one, and everytime I am around her, I fall even more in love with her. She has the most beautiful blue eyes, and the sweetest smile of any baby I know. Granted I am contractually obligated to say such a thing, and as Aunt JuJu, I am TOTALLY biased, and that is completely okay. She is such a precious gift from God, and to see her this morning just taking in all the technicolor and the wonderment of the holiday...it was sweet. The innocence of a child is so unique, and I am so thankful that I live in the same city to be able to easily see  my little munchkin, and watch her grow and discover. :)

I was so very excited about Christmas this year. Not because I was expecting any one gift, or that I even CARED what I was getting...but, I found really great gifts for all of the good little boys and girls on my list this year, and I always love seeing the looks on people's faces when they open gifts. Having to wait as long as I did was a bit torturous, but well worth the wait, I think. :) Seems like everyone enjoyed their gifts, so I can consider this shopping season a win. Woohoo.

My parents gave me some of the sweetest gifts that encapsulated memories from childhood, and I am such a sentimentalist that of COURSE, I loved everything. One thing that was really cool was an ornament that my mama made. See, when my brother and I were little, we read Charlotte's Web. But, in addition, we used to watch the animated movie a lot. Seriously. I think we wore the out the VHS. But, anyway, my mom cut up some of her/our favorite lines from the book and put them inside this glass ball. By far, one of the coolest ornaments I think I have ever had. :)

Another cool gift? Truman Capote's A Christmas Memory. One of my mom's favorites, that will sure become more and more of a favorite as years go by.

My brother, SIL and Anne Charlotte gave me a Jimmy Stewart movie that I love! Harvey! It's such a sweet story, and I love Jimmy Stewart, anyway. Major win there. :) I also got a book that I have wanted for a long time, but it has been out of print. The Collected Works of Elizabeth I. Might sound boring to you guys, but she is my favorite person in history, so I am THRILLED beyond words. Woohoo, I tell you! Woo-Hoo!

Seven years ago, I celebrated what would be my dad's last Christmas on this side of Eternity. I miss him. But, the fact that he is spending Christmas face-to-face with Jesus, our Immanuel? Fills my heart with such joy.

I also received several phone calls from friends whom I love so dearly as well as a text messages from someone I had not heard from in a while. Such a nice surprise, that made my heart smile, truly.

Through the excitement of the day, the meaning of the holiday was not lost. As it is sung in "Hark! The Harold Angels Sing,"

Hail the heaven-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Sun of Righteousness!
Light and life to all he brings,
risen with healing in his wings.
Mild he lays his glory by,
born that we no more may die,
born to raise us from the earth,
born to give us second birth.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the new born King!"

It doesn't get much better than that. My brother summed it up nicely on his facebook page, and I will share and close with this:

The significance of celebrating Jesus' birth is more theological than sentimental, and more mysterious than nostalgic. That is, we're not merely wishing the God and Creator of the Universe 'happy birthday', so much as we are rejoicing that he became man for us and our salvation. This mystery is profound, indeed. Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, indeed. I could not have asked for a better holiday. Thank you, Lord. :)

Testing: 12.12.12.12.12...

I really do appreciate the little things in life. One of the things that I love more than anything in this world is spending time with my brother. :) I am so blessed to have a close relationship with him. Sure, I guess that it helps that we are 11 months apart, but he's pretty much always been a pretty stand up dude, even through the "God, I hate you" stage. :)

This week, I got to spend some quality time with him on a few different occasions. I went to see this really great band, of which my pastor is a part, by the name of "The Buzz Killingtons." They play twice a year, and all the proceeds go to help tornado relief victims, which is great.  Anyway, I got to do some catching up with Joe there. I still feel like I am playing catch up from being gone so long in California, and then coming home from California to complete devastation. I am always so thankful when there is a space in his schedule for check-in time. :)

Our good quality time came on 12.12.12, and add to that that we were ALSO together at 12:12! We took a minute (haha) to really enjoy it. Arby's has never been so tasty!

I also got my first Christmas card of the season! My sweet niece's face makes ANY card such a sweet blessing to receive.

I giggled upon opening it, and instantly thought of Us Weekly magazine's section: "Who Wore It Best?" I'm with Joe, what do you guys think? :)

Before leaving lunch, I said, "Well, this is the last repeat number date that we will see in our lifetime."  Joe said, "We've had a good run of them!" I would be inclined to agree, and 12.12.12 was a particularly good day. I am pretty darn thankful for the three people above. My brother, especially. 

Leaving an impression...

So, I had quite a beat down this week, gang. Seriously. I don't know how or why these things keep happening to me, but go big or go home, right? Right.

So, here is what happened to me on Wednesday morning...

4 AM, I awoke to go to the restroom. Nothing out of the ordinary. I am transferring from the bed to my wheelchair. I do this type of thing multiple times a day, but here is number 5,987 reason as to why I abhor the current wheelchair I am using...

MOST chairs, when you press the power switch downward, the power turns off. This chair? Well, of COURSE this chair has to be different. Flipping this switch downward turns the chair on. Well, I am scooting back in the chair when the sleeve of my sweatshirt catches the joystick. I get thrown from the chair in a Jerry Springer type way....and THEN? My sweatshirt, still stuck on my joystick, runs over my feet. Talk about PAIN. Sweet Jesus, it was awful. So, here I am...on the floor, gotta pee, and an electric wheelchair is on top of me.

I squeal. I scream. I cry. I say tons of words that aren't lady-like. And I pray. There is a huge problem. Both the hotel phone and my cell phone are on the other side of the room, making it out of reach for both me and Bedford. I am wincing in pain, trying to stay calm, so that my muscle contractions don't make matters worse. There is ONE thing in Bedford's reach. My iPad. I point to it, Bedford fetches it. Good Boy!

I proceed to go down the list of people on facebook chat until SOMEONE responded. "Are you up?" I sent that to nearly 30 people. Two people finally respond. While I am trying to type out the horrific state and dire need for help, my precious dog apparently senses the urgency, and he starts barking. Hey,  sound the alarm, right?

The front desk person knocks on my door. She says, "I ain't comin' in cause o' yo dawg!" I yell out that I am not able to get to the door and need help. She said, "Oh, Jesus! I gots 911 on they way!" Swell. By the way, Bedford is still barking, poor thing.

Finally help arrives. Three firemen come through the door. "Where are you, ma'am?!"they call out. I respond with, "I am over here, under the wheelchair. I am not exactly decent, and for that, I apologize, but happy Wednesday!"

One of the firemen sees me and says, "Hoooooooo-llllly shit!" No kidding. That's what I was thinking/feeling, too. So, three firemen lift the chair off of me. I cried a little. Bedford shoots over to me, I let him know I am okay. Poor little guy was probably as happy as I was at that point. So, then the firemen put me in my chair. Local time at this point? 6:27AM. I have tire tracks on one foot, and blood all over the other. Seems I lost half a toenail and my once on-the-mend sore on my ankle has been aggravated.

Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. Every inch of me hurts. I have serious scrapes and bruises. But, it could have, and should have been SO much worse.

Wednesday morning, I was thankful for my iPad. I was thankful for my friends who were awake at an ungodly hour. I was thankful for my dog, and was thankful for being rescued. Thank you, Lord, for your provision, and for being my sustainer. Now, please, re-heal my foot. :)

Groaning in Silence...

So, it has been a few days since my last update in the "Praising Him In The Storm" saga.  There are vital reasons for that. First, my laptop's trackpad went out, and needed to be replaced. *groan* That was not a fun thing to pay for, but it was necessary. You know how you have those things that you can't really afford, but you can't not afford them either? Yeah. This entire blog from henceforth can be filed under that category.

So, yeah. Laptop needed a new mouse/trackpad. So, I had to surrender it to the geniuses. Then, my phone woes have gotten exponentially worse. I have had this type of phone for almost a year. HOWEVER, that being said, I have done four warranty exchanges for the same issues, and I had to purchase ANOTHER battery for the blasted thing. Those batteries aren't cheap, either. I just want a new phone, but I REFUSE to extend my contract any further. So, I am limping along with this phone (whose speaker only works part of the time, crashes in the middle of a phone call, text message, e-mail, you name it), until I can be the recipient of some one's hand-me-down phone. *groan*

My second reason for not updating, was that the latter part of last week was SUCH a frustrating one, that I really did not have much of anything to smile about.

My prayer for the last month or more has been, "God, you know my needs and the desperation of the situation. Please. Help. Me."  You know...sometimes it is so hard to ask for help. It's not necessarily a pride thing, it is the simple fact that...sometimes you just don't know where to START. The wonderful thing about going to the Lord in prayer is that he knows. He knows the back story, He knows the thickness of the muck now, and He knows the end result--where He is leading you to, or in this case, where He is leading me. The beautiful thing about those three little words that are uttered in prayer, is that He will. It may not be in the way that we would prefer, or the time table that we would like, but He takes care of His children, and for that, I am so thankful.

I prayed a very real, very candid, and very heartfelt, pleaful prayer the other night that I needed Him to show up. I needed to feel His presence. I don't question whether God is real. I am living proof that He is, I am just tired of being tired, and tired of being frustrated and at the end of my rope.

I find the vast majority of Christian music to be hokey. I have shared that before. But, today, a song that I honestly haven't heard in FOREVER popped in my head. Nicole C. Mullen's "Redeemer." I still love that song. I love everything ABOUT that song, and I don't believe that it popped into my head just by chance.

I have been groaning a lot in silence. I have also been trying to be grateful for the small things, when the big things get overwhelming.

So, today, and every day, I am thankful for God's provision, even when I don't feel Him around. I am also thankful for little reminders that show up unexpectedly in song form.

We are turning a corner, ladies and gentlemen. I can feel it in my bones.

Come Thou Long Expected...Apartment!

I am inching ever so closely to being back in an apartment, rather than a hotel. That is music to my ears, as well as to the deacons of my church. Hotel livin' isn't easy, and it isn't cheap.

What seemed to be impossible isn't quite so impossible, and I am thankful. The only condition is that I have to sign a year lease. I am leaning more towards that option, as having a place to live is high on the priority list. :)

I have put applications in at a few places, that are more accessible, and more affordable. With being on such a tight budget, it is my hope that one of those places becomes available. I want to be able to SAVE money, not spend all the money I have.

My prayer now is that if one of the aforementioned places becomes available, I can move in there relatively easily with a minimum penalty.

I am just ready to move forward. In the most cost effective way possible.

Thank you, Lord, for forward progress....and for having my best interest as a part of Your will. Thy will be done.

In addition to moving forward, I am oh, so thankful for Advent Hymns. Come Thou Long Expected Jesus, and come thou long expected apartment! :)

%$@#!

Today was a busy day. Made lots of phone calls, and said lots of colorful words in between. You see, my cell phone is dying a very slow death, and trying to annoy me along the way.

The speaker in my phone only works half of the time. This makes for frustrating conversations, because I will be in the middle of a conversation, and BOOM...silence. Sonofa! But that's not all it is doing.

It crashes. No matter what I am doing, it crashes. I will be trying to dial a number, it crashes. I will be in the middle of an e-mail or a text message, it crashes. I will be in the middle of a phone call, you guessed it...it crashes!

Trying to talk to some very important people today yielded one very frustrated girl right here, because my Android Galaxy (PO)S was not being cooperative.

I met with a State Farm evaluator person today. They are still "investigating."Translation? We're still dragging our feet, making you crazy." The guy was like, "Well, we have admission that the leak happened before September 22", (which was the day that my insurance was canceled....LONG story) which I THOUGHT was all we needed. Oh, no. Of COURSE things cannot be that simple. Of course not. State Farm policies don't cover mildew or mold. Awesome. Really. Considering the vast majority of everything I own is covered in black mold, that is definitely music to my ears.

Still trying to get OUT of a hotel, I was calling around, checking on some applications that I submitted months before this nightmare ever started. I would be on hold forever, and then they would come to the phone just in time for what? You guessed it, my phone would completely shut down, power off, and NOT want to turn back on. I had it. I went into T-Mobile, and told them the problems I was having. I spent, oh, I don't know, the better part of two hours or more troubleshooting. Ended up doing a factory reset...losing a lot of my stuff. But, I was promised that that would fix the problem.

Guess again. Five times tonight, my phone has done the same thing. I was on the phone with a friend of mine tonight, and my phone just shut down and powered off...and did not power back on for nearly 30 minutes. Like I said, Android Galaxy (PO)S.

My friend, Andrew, told me that I could have his phone once he gets his new phone. Let me tell you, he cannot get that phone fast enough, because I am ready to throw this phone in the middle of 280 traffic.

In the midst of this frustration today, I just said, "Lord, help me to focus on some of my favorite things today."

And He did.

Pumpkin Spice Lattes.
Cool Fall Weather
Good Songs
Optimus (my car)

I am so thankful for my car, which gives me so much independence. I am thankful for pumpkin spice lattes (Starbucks is right next to T-Mobile, which was a great way to kill time during cell phone troubleshooting), and good music that I can sing along to while driving my car with the windows down. The song "Cruise" by Florida Georgia Line came on twice today, and it was fun both times!

So, the goal is to focus on at least one thing a day that makes me smile, and looky there! I just named four. Thank you, Lord, for these simple things!

Fifty Shades of Boredom...

So, here I am...approaching a month of being back home here in Birmingham, approaching yet another month in a hotel, and it has been a slow moving month, too.  I keep making phone calls, leaving messages, sending e-mails...you know, playing the whole, 'hurry up and wait' game. It is hard to feel accomplished when you feel like the hamster on the wheel: running as fast and as hard as your legs will take you...all to find out that you're not moving the least little bit.

Well, I had one of those conversations with a friend this afternoon that had me laughing SO hard and gasping for air....and my stomach was hurting from laughing so much, yet I still couldn't stop.

The subject of the cackle fest, you ask? E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey.  For MONTHS pretty much every girl I know has told me I have to read this book. I haven't had any desire to read this book, really.  I am no prude, but at the same time, the subject matter just did not strike me as something I needed to read ASAP.

Well, I decided to see what all of the fuss was about. And so far? Totally NOT impressed. Seriously. I have tried several times to read this thing, and it has put me to sleep every time. EVERY. TIME.

So, I was talking to my friend, Wendy, and was saying, "Okay, I have tried to get into Twilight, and I cannot stand it. Bella Swan is everything that is wrong with a woman. She sets the women's movement back at least 50 years. I tried getting into Harry Potter and I just didn't get into that, either. Now, we can add this Fifty Shades of vomit crap to the list. Apparently there is something wrong with me."

Wendy just matter-of-factly added, "No, you just have zero tolerance for crap literature!" *insert laughter on both sides of the phone.*

I then shared an excerpt from the book with her.  Wendy's response? "No. Uh uh. I think I just lost IQ points. Oh. My. Ugh."

Well, the real laughter started when Wendy was going through the teller drive through at her bank. Apparently our conversation of the subject matter of this book was picked up on the microphone, and the teller could hear and SHE got tickled, too!

Wendy and I were dying. I tell you, if it wasn't for my seat belt on my wheelchair, I would have fallen out of my chair. Bedford was getting a kick out of this, too, because the harder I laughed, the faster and harder his tail wagged! So. Funny.

So, today, in the midst of the storm, I am thankful for friends and belly laughs...Thank you, Ms. James. I needed that laughter today.

Seriously, ladies, what is it about this book that you all love so much? What am I missing?

Here we go again....

I have had many people tell me that they enjoyed my blog from California. I have had many people request that I keep blogging. So, here I am pacifying the masses. :-) Really, I think that the purpose of this blog is more for my benefit than anyone else's at the moment.

I returned home from California to complete devastation, as my apartment and it's contents were on the receiving end of damage from an upstairs water leak. Black mold has definitely left a lasting imprint in my life, as every bit of my belongings have been effected.

In the three weeks that have lapsed since my return, I have been in a true storm. It is devastating. But one thing I know is true: My God is Sovereign. I may not know the purpose of all of this mess. I may not feel Him around me at the moment, but I know that He is there.

This blog is me making a commitment to make a conscious effort to find ONE thing positive in each day. Some days, that might be a challenge, but as people have encouraged me lately: God is consistent in a world full of change, and even in this crappy situation, it is not permanent.

Here we go again, gang. Stay tuned...