Groaning in Silence...

So, it has been a few days since my last update in the "Praising Him In The Storm" saga.  There are vital reasons for that. First, my laptop's trackpad went out, and needed to be replaced. *groan* That was not a fun thing to pay for, but it was necessary. You know how you have those things that you can't really afford, but you can't not afford them either? Yeah. This entire blog from henceforth can be filed under that category.

So, yeah. Laptop needed a new mouse/trackpad. So, I had to surrender it to the geniuses. Then, my phone woes have gotten exponentially worse. I have had this type of phone for almost a year. HOWEVER, that being said, I have done four warranty exchanges for the same issues, and I had to purchase ANOTHER battery for the blasted thing. Those batteries aren't cheap, either. I just want a new phone, but I REFUSE to extend my contract any further. So, I am limping along with this phone (whose speaker only works part of the time, crashes in the middle of a phone call, text message, e-mail, you name it), until I can be the recipient of some one's hand-me-down phone. *groan*

My second reason for not updating, was that the latter part of last week was SUCH a frustrating one, that I really did not have much of anything to smile about.

My prayer for the last month or more has been, "God, you know my needs and the desperation of the situation. Please. Help. Me."  You know...sometimes it is so hard to ask for help. It's not necessarily a pride thing, it is the simple fact that...sometimes you just don't know where to START. The wonderful thing about going to the Lord in prayer is that he knows. He knows the back story, He knows the thickness of the muck now, and He knows the end result--where He is leading you to, or in this case, where He is leading me. The beautiful thing about those three little words that are uttered in prayer, is that He will. It may not be in the way that we would prefer, or the time table that we would like, but He takes care of His children, and for that, I am so thankful.

I prayed a very real, very candid, and very heartfelt, pleaful prayer the other night that I needed Him to show up. I needed to feel His presence. I don't question whether God is real. I am living proof that He is, I am just tired of being tired, and tired of being frustrated and at the end of my rope.

I find the vast majority of Christian music to be hokey. I have shared that before. But, today, a song that I honestly haven't heard in FOREVER popped in my head. Nicole C. Mullen's "Redeemer." I still love that song. I love everything ABOUT that song, and I don't believe that it popped into my head just by chance.

I have been groaning a lot in silence. I have also been trying to be grateful for the small things, when the big things get overwhelming.

So, today, and every day, I am thankful for God's provision, even when I don't feel Him around. I am also thankful for little reminders that show up unexpectedly in song form.

We are turning a corner, ladies and gentlemen. I can feel it in my bones.